Do you struggle with interpersonal situations? Social anxiety?

For some people, relationships with others are a challenge. For many individuals other people trigger feelings of anxiety, fear and desire to avoid situations where they will have to interact with people. While others struggle with feeling desperate to connect with someone and worry about being abandoned by their important people. Both of these issues relate to 2 different coping styles that we see in human beings: Overcontrolled Coping and Undercontrolled Coping.

What does over control look like?

Would you describe yourself as a perfectionist, socially awkward and/or lonely?

You might have an Over Controlled Coping Style if you frequently feel that other people just don't understand you or you can't connect to them in the way you would like. Individuals who use an over controlled style typically display the following traits: 

Others have told you that you don't smile enough

Shy or timid in social settings involving others outside their immediate family

Rigid adherence to rules or policies

Feel as though you may have social anxiety

High need for structure in their daily routine 

Strong sense of justice or morality

Strong dislike for situations that are unexpected, unpredictable or unscripted

Worry about making mistakes or doing things right

Experience a sense of lonliness even when with other people

Difficulty expressing your inner thoughts and feelings openly

Others may perceive you as cold or aloof

Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (RO DBT) can help individuals with an over controlled style to learn how to relax more in new situations and to connect with others in a positive way.


RO DBT Therapy

Check out this great video by the creator of RO DBT therapy, Dr. Thomas Lynch PhD

Listen to Podcast about RO DBT

Take a moment to listen to this podcast about RO DBT therapy for disorders of over control.

What does Under Control look like?

Do people sometimes say that you are too emotional or dramatic?

You might be in the Under Controlled Coping style category. Individuals who use an under controlled style typically display the following traits: 


Dramatic gestures and facial expressions 

Emotions that fluctuate rapidly and are perceived by others as quite intense 

Difficulty calming themselves 

Feelings of loss or abandonment when others are emotionally unavailable 

Frequent upsets and conflict within relationships

Many people display some of these traits at times. But if you feel that this list describes you much of the time, then you probably lean towards an Under Controlled Coping Style.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) was designed to help individuals with under controlled styles to learn skills for managing their style better. 


DBT Therapy

Check out this great video  about DBT Therapy from the creator of DBT , Dr. Marsha Linehan PhD